Waking Up Tired

Last Updated on February 15, 2024 by Stacy Averette

It’s Sunday morning and I’m tired.

I have a headache and my toothache reminds me of the major dental work happening in the morning. “Maybe I should just stay home and rest,” I say to myself. I lay still and quiet and watch the early morning sun dance on the walls around the room.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks.

“I’m thinking about staying home today,” I answer.

I hardly finish the sentence before tears well up in my tired, sleepy eyes.

“But God has been so good to me. This week was hard but God was with me just like He promised.”

I am reminded again that His presence is everything.

He reaches over and wipes a tear off my cheek

“On Sunday, I go to church. It’s a lifelong habit that has served me well. My parents and grandparents instilled it in me and modeled faithfulness week after week, year after year. In 54 years, I’ve missed very few Sundays at church.” I repeat this fact as if he doesn’t already know.

And then we do what we’ve always done on Sunday morning, without discussion. He makes coffee and we get dressed and go to church.

We’re living in super weird times and even church feels weird. I miss the way it used to be. The distance between us is loud and the music is louder than I’d prefer at times. I don’t always know the songs we sing and have trouble singing the ones I know. But the kindness of God washes over me and I feel His presence once again. So I sing and lift holy hands, grateful to be redeemed.

I notice the man sitting 6 feet over. He’s frail and fidgety in his “Juicy Couture” t-shirt tucked neatly into faded, oversized pajama pants. He doesn’t know any of the songs but he taps his old tennis shoe to the beat. During the sermon, he sleeps.

I look around and marvel at all the different people in the same room. What in the world . . . ?

My head hurts and it’s cold in here. I take another sip of my water trying to rehydrate after getting too hot yesterday.

My tooth throbs and I think of my dental procedure tomorrow. Fear creeps in.

I remember all the unresolved issues from last week.

And then a man called by God reminds me—us—-the difference between The Kingdom of Heaven (where God rules and reigns) and the Kingdom of the World (where sin reigns).

I take three pages of notes because I know I’ll need a reminder next week.

The Kingdom of Heaven is where I want to be. Love rules and reigns with absolute authority. But I live in a frail, fallen kingdom. I’m discouraged and tired. I need some Good News.

At the end, he says, “We live in the fallen Kingdom of the World but through Christ, we have the Kingdom of Heaven in our heart.”

I feel it in my heart!

Yes!

 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 2 Corinthians 4:7-11

The Gospel fills my heart with hope again.

A young woman comes forward to make public her recent profession of faith. She shares that she’s grown up in church—-her dad was a pastor—-but now head knowledge has become heart transformation.

I look around again and see all the different people, clapping and smiling and celebrating.

And for a moment, I get a glimpse of The Kingdom of Heaven.

I see it with my own two eyes.

The service has ended and I round up my things and make my way to the car. I notice a young woman crying.

“Are you okay?”

“No not really,” she whispers.

We sit down in a quiet place and she tells me, in one sentence, her heartbreak.

For a moment, I forget about social distancing and touch her arms crossed protectively on her chest.

“I’m so sorry,” I reply.

She wipes away a tear and we sit quietly in His presence.

The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Both John the Baptist and Jesus said so.

Today I felt it, saw it, and touched it.

“You glad we went to church today?” he asks as we’re driving home.

I just look at him and smile.

I love your sanctuary, LORD, the place where your glorious presence dwells. Psalm 26:8