4 Ways to Ruin Your Life

Last Updated on February 15, 2024 by Stacy Averette

“Read and read again, and do not despair of help to understand the will and mind of God though you think they are fast locked up from you. Neither trouble your heads though you have not commentaries and exposition. Pray and read; read and pray. For a little from God is better than a great deal from men.”

Paul Bunyan

#1 Don’t Read Your Bible

Don’t read your Bible. Don’t concern yourself with what the Creator of the Universe, your Maker, Rescuer, and Redeemer has to say about Himself and His work in the world. Nah. Just watch the news and read all the things on the internet. That’s all you need to know. Look hard enough and you’ll find what you’re looking for. You’ll find someone to tell you what you want to hear. You’ll find someone to tell you what to believe. And you’ll find someone who believes as you do and assures you that you’re okay.

But if you’re looking for Truth, the Truth spoken in love, for your good and His glory, then turn it off—all of it—and pick up your Bible. Read it. All of it. Not just the parts you’re familiar with or understand. Not just the principles and commands you agree with and want to hear. Not just the letters in red but every. single. word. They’re all His Words written “so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God and that by believing you may have life in His name” (John 20:31)

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“Nothing will ruin your life more than thinking you should have your life together already.”

#2 Expect Too Much of Yourself

Keep trying to get your life together. All-day. Every day. Do better. Try harder. Focus on yourself and all the ways you don’t measure up to the person you saw on social media. Tell yourself daily what a loser you are and Google “Ways to get your life together.” Keep “shoulding” all over yourself.

• I should have a degree by now.
• I should be skinnier/fitter.
• I should be married/have kids/have grandkids.
• I should make more money.
• I should be out of debt.
• I should have bigger goals.

Or you could turn your face toward the One “who rejoices over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17). Ask Him what He thinks of you and what He wants you to do. I promise you His list is short and doable. When Jesus held out the abundant life option to us in John 10:10, He wasn’t offering us something we had to earn or work toward. He was offering us Himself.

At every age and in every season of life, we are tempted to feel like we should have our life together—or at least more together than we did last year at this time. My twenty-something daughter sent me the quote above via Instagram. It originally said this: “Nothing will ruin your twenties more than thinking you should have your life together already.”

I chuckled to myself because I know I’ve felt the same thing in my 50s. And I felt it in my 30s and 40s, too.

Here’s the thing: it’s not my job to get my life together. My job is to surrender my life to God and let Him “get it together” whatever He decides it’s supposed to look like. He’s the potter. I’m the clay. It’s that simple.

Life with God is a grand adventure.

Noah had already lived five centuries when he began building a boat that took him another century to complete. He lived on the boat with his family and a zoo of animals for over a year. He lived another 350 years after the flood.

Sarah had long given up on having a child of her own. In her nineties, she was changing diapers and nursing an infant.

Peter walked on water with Jesus.

None of them “had their life together” in the way we might think is necessary at a certain age (go and read their stories if you need to). What they did have was faith in the One who “has it all together” and He called them to walk with Him. He’s calling you, too.

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“People, not places, make memories.”

#3 Strive to Make Your Home Pinterest Perfect

Strive to make your home Pinterest-perfect. Or HGTV worthy. Ask yourself, “What would Chip and Joanna do with this room? What paint color would they choose? How would they rearrange the furniture?” Follow the Feng shui rules when you remodel. Know your Enneagram type and decorate accordingly. Spend money you don’t have to remodel a room you rarely use. Buy chairs, pretty but uncomfortable, because Wayfair offers free shipping. Go to Target and buy all the things, including scratchy pillows that even the cat hates, because you watched an Instagram influencer do a live, #sponsored, #ad video.

Or you could focus on people. Your people. You! Choose paint colors that make you happy. And when you get tired of that color, paint over it. Buy soft chairs that recline just enough to make you want to stay awhile. Arrange furniture to suit your lifestyle. Hang pictures of your babies and favorite vacations. Invest in furniture that can double as a TV tray and a footstool. Resist being pigeonholed as farmhouse, modern, or traditional. Be YOU. Ignore the rules. Be real. Let your home tell YOUR story.

After all, is it the house you love or the life that’s lived in it?

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“I don’t think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.”

Jack Nicholson

#4 Work All The Time

Work all the time. Work. Work. Work. Never stop working. Never take time to do the things you enjoy because they don’t produce something or at least something visible and valuable by the standards of another. Never walk through the garden in the cool of the day. Never get in a boat just to go to the other side. How dare you make room for adventure, creativity, and rest when you could be working.

But what of the desires of your heart? Our God-given desires to engage in soul-restoring activities that bring us joy need not be explained or justified. Because “God-given” says it all. Stop trying to explain away your need to thrift, paint, garden, tinker, fly, build, mow, or grow.

Thrifting brings me joy (whether I discover a cool treasure or not). I can’t explain it but I know that when I experience joy I experience God. The joy of the Lord is my strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

I suppose there are more than 4 ways to ruin your life. And “ruin” might be too strong of a word. But it was the word on my mind today and instead of overthinking, I decided to just go with it.

And in case you’re thinking, “Well, I’ve already ruined my life by___________, be encouraged.

I also believe even ruin can be a gift; a road to transformation.

Repentance. Turning back.

For matters of faith know this:

Nothing is impossible with God.

He can rescue.

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves. Colossians 1:13

He can save.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

He can recreate.

“So I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do. Jeremiah 18:3-4

It’s never too late to begin again. Focus on the people God has placed in your life. Make time for rest and find joy in the simple pleasures of life.

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I’m linking up with Richella’s Grace at Home Party. Click here to visit her at Imparting Grace.