One month from today I’ll be 48.
Age has never been much more than a number for me but I’ve probably thought about this birthday more than any other. Here are a few reasons why I think this birthday feels different:
First, the awareness that my life is probably half-way over. I’m hoping to see 100, at least, but according to the statistics I have about a 17% chance of making it.
Second, I’m old enough to be everybody’s mother. My fellow graduate students at the University remind me of this and so do my children. When I started school last fall there were giggles and whispers around my house for a few days. Thanks, Napoleon Dynamite. “Your mom goes to college!” is more than just a meaningless random phrase around my house.
Third, my mother, Eric’s mother, and all our grandmothers have died. Makes a woman think.
Fourth, and maybe the single greatest reason this birthday feels different: I haven’t done everything I want to do in this life. I haven’t even done everything I thought I’d do by this age. It makes me kind of sad. I’ve started to feel like the window of opportunity has been boarded up in preparation for the storm of old age. Yeah I know. That’s a little dramatic but I’m almost 48. I can legitimately blame it on the hormones.
I’ve always been a “glass-half-full-look-on-the-bright-side-chin-up-buttercup” kind of girl. So in spite of a long unfinished bucket list I have been busy doing a lot of things in these last 48 years which leads me to the reason for this post. I want to spend the next month focusing on what I have done. Please don’t mistake it for bragging. It’s really my way of counting my blessings–focusing on what the Lord has done and has allowed me to do and experience in this great life. For the next month I’ll be celebrating my last days of being 47 and recounting here what’s made them great.