Last Updated on November 8, 2018 by Stacy Averette

My husband needs to change. For years I’ve tried to change him, unsuccessfully, I might add. So I decided it was time to pull out the big guns and pray for him. Certainly, God knows he needs to change but maybe he needs a gentle reminder and a list.

I return to a book I’ve read many times to help me pray for him. The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian has had a profound effect on my marriage and if you’re married I highly recommend it.

Wife Swap

My Husband’s Wife

I finish reading the first chapter, “His Wife”, and begin working through the study guide questions.

Question #1: “Is there anything for which you need to ask your husband to forgive you?”

Uh, no.

But I can think of a few things for which he should ask my forgiveness.

Just kidding.

Not really.

Well, sort of.

It’s part of the reason I’m reading this book again. I’ve read it at least 6 times in the last 10 years. ‘Cause I’m gonna pray and help him become the man me and God want him to be.

*Spoiler Alert* Every time I’ve prayed for God to change my husband or my children or my boss or coworker, He always starts by changing me.

power of a praying wife

My Heart Bowed Low

Darn it.

I read the question in the book again. “Pray and ask the Lord . . . “

The Lord speaks to my heart.

“You need to ask him to forgive you for continuing to bring it up,” the Lord said before I could even finish reading the sentence.

Darn it.

I hear the Spirit speak but then act as if I didn’t.

OK. I’ll pray and ask the Lord if there’s anything I need to ask Eric’s forgiveness for because that’s what the book said to do and I always do things by the book. That’s how you earn a gold star. Follow directions. And I like gold stars. So I’ll pray the way the book says to pray.

“Lord, is there anything I need to ask Eric’s forgiveness for? “

The Lord speaks.

“You need to ask him to forgive you for continuing to bring it up.”

Darn it.

Sometimes the Lord speaks and we can’t hear because His words aren’t what we want to hear.

I bow my heart low and confess the wall of fear I’ve built.

“Lord if I stop reminding him he might forget what he did and he might forget how bad it hurt me and he might do it again.”

The Lord speaks.


 “But, Lord.”

He speaks again.

The devil enjoys accusing believers about the things that I, God, have already forgiven.

(Revelation 12:10)

Do you want to be like the Devil or like Me?”

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I hate it. But I love it.

What happens when I pray for my husband?

Often, God starts by giving him a new wife.

“Lord, give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.”

The best kind of wife swap, don’t you think?

My Promise to You

Don’t we all have a few things we’d like to change about our spouse, our boss, our child, our in-laws, our leaders, our church, our neighbor, our _________?

Everything changes when I pray for God’s will, not my own, to be done in my husband’s life. I see him the way God sees him. I see me in relation to him the way God sees us.

I have found that to be true about everyone and everything I want to change. When I take the issue I have about a person or a situation to God and ask for His eyes to see and ears to hear and heart to understand, my own heart is transformed and my world begins to change.

I challenge you to talk to God about the people and circumstances in your life that need to change. I’m not talking about a short bedtime prayer. I’m saying get in your car or someplace you can be alone and talk to God as if He’s sitting across from you. Speak out loud. Ask Him why and how and when about the issues you’re struggling with. Tell Him what you want to happen, what you think should happen, what you wish hadn’t happened.

And then: Ask Him what He thinks about it all.

I promise you He is listening. He is always listening. He already knows what’s really on your heart. But He wants you to talk to Him. Really talk to Him. It’s one of the ways we grow in our relationship with Him.

Then you must listen—You. Must. Listen—and be ready to hear what He has to say.

I promise He will respond. He will answer, guide, teach, change, comfort and let you know in a very special way that He cares about you. (He does this primarily through a Love Letter to you. Seriously. We call it the Bible.)

Pour your heart out to God and read His Word. He will change your life through it.

I’m glad He’s changing me.

eric and stacy july photo

6 thoughts on “My Husband Needs to Change!”

  1. I love the imagery that you use in your writings. Thanks for using your gifts to encourage others. Always a blessing!

  2. When I read your blog, I see myself so often. You always have a way of making me break out with my biggest smile or tears flow like rain! I love you, my sister in Christ. Praying for you!

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