Last Updated on October 21, 2020 by Stacy Averette
This pandemic has made togetherness weird and hard, am I right? One friend texted me a meme that said: “I’m about ready to call Jolene and beg her to take my man.” I almost spewed my coffee when I read it. I’m definitely not there yet but I won’t lie and tell you that staying at home together all the time has been easy.
Y’all know we love each other and we even really like each other. We work together every day in our counseling/coaching business and we hang out together even when we’re not at work but this feels like a whole new ballgame.
I haven’t had much to say during the pandemic but today I’m sharing what I think might help you if you’re quarantining together.
Side note: If you’re quarantining at home alone and feel even more isolated, I’m sorry. I won’t even try to suggest I know how you feel. But I do hope you’ll read this post in order to understand and encourage your friends and loved ones who might be struggling with too much togetherness.
One Man’s Response to COVID-19
Does your man stay tuned in to his favorite news channel? Does he watch every press conference, read every article, and inspect every graph . . . and then give you a detailed report, updating you from the one he gave 15 minutes ago, whether you want to hear it or not?
Has he been keeping count of the infected? Does he know how many have died and how many survived in each country and state? Can he tell you the COVID-19 statistics for your county and city (and those near you) like a world-class researcher?
Does he talk about “when they say it will peak” or “a second wave”?
One Woman’s Response to COVID-19
Have you about worked yourself to death doing some of the projects you’ve been meaning to do for years followed up by laying on the couch to binge on Netflix (and snacks)?
Has your mailbox or Kindle gotten a steady stream of new books from Amazon?
Have you taken up bread baking and organized the pantry?
Have you decided to start a little herb garden in pots on your back porch?
Are you trying to figure out what color to paint the kitchen and if that rug you saw on Ruggable is as pretty as it looks on your screen? And is it worth the money, considering your paycheck has decreased drastically?
“Could we use our stimulus check toward a bathroom remodel?” you ask yourself.
All the while, you’re trying hard to listen or at least act like you’re listening to his up-to-the-minute reporting? Or maybe you’re way past pretending at this point!
He’s wondering why you don’t care more about what’s going on in the world and you’re hoping he’ll help you hang that thrifted chandelier that’s been sitting on the floor for months?
Or maybe it’s just us?
It’s certainly not that you don’t care that people are getting very sick and some are dying. It’s not that you haven’t been concerned about you and your family getting sick.
If you’re like me, you’ve grieved over the devastation. You’ve occasionally checked social media for updates and prayed for people you’ve never met.
You’ve checked on friends and family whose livelihood has been affected.
You’ve prayed for and checked on those you know who are on the front lines, in harm’s way.
You’re dealing with it and so is he.
He and I
He and I are different in lots of ways.
It shouldn’t be surprising that we’ve responded differently to a crisis.
I’ve been irritated by his constant monitoring and reporting the situation and sadly, I let him know that directly and indirectly on more than one occasion.
We’ve had a few spats over the past few weeks about the dumbest things before I had an “Ah-ha” moment. (Thank you, Holy Spirit!)
The pandemic is a serious threat.
That wasn’t my “Ah-ha” moment! I’ve believed from the beginning it was serious and felt some worry and fear and anxiety in response.
My “Ah-ha” moment came when I realized how differently he and I are processing the anxiety we feel about it.
He’s not likely to come right out and say, “I’m anxious and worried.”
I’ve said it too much which probably causes him to feel even more anxious.
We both feel a lack of control.
Neither of us has the power to stop the threat completely. We definitely want to protect ourselves and our loved ones and some of us even want to save the world from the threat.
But we can’t.
We can’t even do all the usual things we do to escape and avoid unpleasant emotions which leaves us at home, together, all day every day.
So we do what we can.
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He created them male and female and blessed them. Genesis 5:2
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that crawls upon the earth.” Genesis 1:28
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We fill and subdue and rule. Each of us in our own God-created way.
He has the heart of a warrior and protector. The virus is a threat to him and his family. He can’t fight it, or shoot it with a gun, or blow it up but he’s standing on the watchtower (news, social media) in order to know his enemy’s position at all times. Then he gives a sit-rep (situation report) to his team (me). He wants his team to know he’s on it—that he’s doing his job. He’s doing all he can do to defend and protect and provide for his family.
I am a nester and nurturer–a homemaker at heart. The virus is a threat to me, too, so I’ll fill the pantry and table with the best food I can afford. The clothes will be clean and put away. Our home will be a lovely place of safety and rest.
I’ll try not to demand that my work gets noticed. I’ll embrace His new mercy each day and commit to doing all things without grumbling and complaining to the glory of God. I will not be easily irritated but I will instead, with kindness, express gratitude to my friend on the watchtower doing his part, while I do mine.
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
