Rest and reflection are my priority this week but I’m not a fan. Seriously. I mean I whine about needing a break, blah, blah, blah, then when the break comes I freak out a little.
But I take some pretty pictures and think lots of thoughts and feel all the feelings.
I want to share and write but fear and insecurity roll in.
The Desire of My Heart
I find myself trying to outrun the clouds again. Perfect blue skies turn gray and the sun-shielding umbrella catches drops of water. I close my eyes and ask another “Why?” Why do I blog? What’s the point of sharing anything with anyone?
It’s good to remind myself (and you dear friend) of the desire of my heart.
• I love to communicate—to share with family, friends, strangers, anyone who will listen—about this extraordinary life.
• Whether it’s a delicious new recipe, a thrift store find, a trip I took, a celebration we enjoyed, a book I read, something God taught me through His Word or a life experience, I love to talk about it. Words always take center stage in my dreams.
• I’m passionate about life. Always have been. I love to tell stories about my days as a small-town country girl, challenges in the “big city” at university and seminary, life in ministry, parenting, marriage, and just about every other ordinary event in daily life.
• For me it’s not that I want or need to be the center of attention or that I think I’m better or that my life is more interesting than yours. I am a communicator. Always have been. I can talk your ears off about Jesus or fried okra. I can’t help it. I’ve tried to keep quiet, just listen. And I do that when I need to but I just can’t help but share what a wonderful life this is.
• My purpose is not to paint some picture of “the perfect life” or to try and hide the struggles and the ugly. I share some of those. But I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of girl and that hasn’t changed even with the losses and disappointments that life brings. There is drama but that’s not what I want to focus on every day.
• I believe God knew me before I was born. I believe he sanctified me, set me apart, for a purpose that I, with my personality and experiences and passion, would live out. (I believe that about you, too!) My life won’t look exactly like yours and that’s OK. Not everyone will understand me and why I do and say certain things or why I don’t do certain things. That’s OK, too. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but God delights in me and He rejoices over me with singing because He made me. He knew I would love sweets and collect old stuff with a story, and that I would be a serious person who dances like crazy (in my head) when that song with a beat comes on. He knew that I would be a homebody who loves to travel. He knew that I would be a life-long learner, a list maker, and a rabbit chaser. He knew I’d struggle with insecurity and that I really wish everyone would like me; but, my work ethic and determination and passion to do hard things and live this one life fully alive would keep me going when I feel afraid of what might happen or what you might think. He knows me better than I know myself and He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
• So when I post a recipe, a photo, a story, or even a selfie it’s my way of squealing with delight. It’s my super-bowl-winning-touchdown cheer. It’s my performance-of-a-life-time standing ovation. It’s my best-day-ever-celebration. And posting here or on social media is my way of inviting you, including you, sharing with you this wonderful life.
• I hope you can be happy with me and for me, because joy is contagious if we expose ourselves to it often enough. Like you, sometimes my life hurts and I feel sad and broken and weary and long for the day Christ returns. But until that day I will celebrate. I will look on the bright side. I will cheer and laugh. And I will do my best to inspire and encourage you to do the same.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1-2) The Message
So what is the desire of your heart? What’s your “Why?” Write it down so on hard days you can remember. I’d love to hear if you’re willing to share.
Joy is contagious if we expose ourselves to it often enough. Tweet this
Words always take center stage in my dreams. Tweet this